Thinking about thoughts

Hum, ahh…let’s see… what more can I say?  Nothing but writing thoughts and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts, what everybody thinks I’m  a wacko? Just because I don’t act like most of them, just because I have unusual thoughts, unusual dreams, an unusual way of thinking. Is it insane to think different?

Wanna sleep a while my brain is tired, am tired of thinking, some thoughts are evil, some thoughts are mean, make me feel bad, hurt me.  What’s the difference between thoughts and feelings? Is there any difference? I mean, I could think someone is a pig, and I could hate him, so the thought comes first and then the feeling, right? I could think I did something wrong and then I feel bad, but where do those thoughts come from? And even then, where do that feelings come from? If I change my thoughts my feelings will change too? We cannot change our emotions directly but we can change our thoughts and then our feelings will change. For example If I hate someone because it is a pig, then I could think “hey, he’s not a bad person at all, he’s generous sometimes”, immediately my feeling about that person will change. 

Can I have only thoughts without feeling? I can think that you are beautiful, I can think you’re a very very especial person, I can think I would hardly find other one like you, I can think of you all the pieces of the day and the parts of the night when I’m not sleep. Does that mean I’m fallen in love with you? What is needed to feel love, to be really in love?

Well , then comes an emotion, a kind of feeling, you know, that sensation that you need  someone, that you need to see him, that you need to feel his physical presence even If it is so small like the contact when sharing a bus seat.

So, can we call that love? Or what is love? A complex sum of profound feelings, or just the list I just mentioned.